The boy I will never meet

Who can say for certain how long we will live or when we’ll die?
Nobody.

when someone dies and leaves us, it feels like something is missing. It hurts so bad because we know that we cannot get it back. Even when you cross the oceans, fight the storms, you won’t find it. Even worst, you don’t know what you’re looking for. Deep inside your heart you know that what you’re doing, hope and dream is impossible. So all you can do is just crying and trying to move on with all the broken pieces you have.

My Bestfriend

Let’s say….I’m sad enough listening to what my best friend said about her depression. She feels like she already lost her hope and future. She even doesn’t know how to live on. She is depressed by her own mind.Since last year everything has been ruined by ‘I can’t write about it’ situation. It’s complicated to explain. The main point is that condition has made her losing her own faith. You can tell by just looking at her. She smiles, she laughs, she talks, but her eyes show that she is quite sad and stressed.

She becomes afraid hearing what other people said about her family. She is frightened that people will abuse her mentally by their hurtful words. She asks herself ‘where the hell is God?!’ She already kept her praying, hoping, being patient, and now what she gets are only sad, mean, and hard times. She is hopeless.

Even her study is ended after one semester. She just couldn’t make it; she hasn’t any energy anymore to live her day by day activities. She is depressed.

Imel’s Dad died :(

written on 20.3.2006

One post before this is a posting about the accident from Kiky’s brothers which caused his death. And now I have to write another sad post about a father from one of my bestfriend.

She is indeed my best friend in campus. Her name is Imel, almost the same age as me. We were often studying in the same class, always share funny stories and also sadness. We used to meet before the class begin and took a time for a cup of coffee, a piece of cheesecake, and a portion of laugh. It was always like that. Me, Imel, and Anika. We laughed, we stressed about the same thing, and we cheered each other in anyone’s drop time. After class we went home together, whether it was by my car or Anika’s.

Another sad news :(

written on 16.3.2006

Baru saja saya berniat mengisi kembali blog ini, berita duka kembali datang, dan sekali lagi menimpa seorang teman sekelas saya Kiki(sebelumnya menimpa Winda). Dia yang sejak masa pendaftaran perkuliahan sudah saya kenal, adiknya yang berada di Lampung meninggal kemarin. Adiknya, 21 tahun ditabrak angkot ketika sedang mengendarai motornya. Kejadian tragis itu terjadi 2 hari sebelumnya. Sudah terbayang ada pendarahan di otaknya yang menguras daya tahan dia untuk hidup.

Her Mom Died

written on 28.2.2006

Hari ini ibunya meninggal.

Dia yang ditinggalkan adalah temen kuliah saya, Winda namanya. Orangnya sangat baik, pinter, rajin, dan jago koreografi. Pacarnya adalah anak teknik penerbangan ITB. Hanya itu yang saya tau? Nggak juga. Sekali waktu saya sempat satu shift sama dia jaga stand delegasi Uni Eropa di salah satu pameran kesehatan internasional di Jakarta. Meski selama dua semester kemaren hampir tiap perkuliahan kami bertemu, baru saat itu saya dan dia curhat-curhatan. Tentang segala hal, mulai dari persiapan pernikahan saya *waktu itu masih belom nikah*, sampe tentang keluarga masing-masing. Disitu saya tau kalo ibunya sakit.Entah penyakitnya apa saya nggak begitu tau. Ibunya sempet kena stroke dan anfal. Tapi setelah itu ibunya sadar kembali. Masih sakitkah dia? Iya lah…tapi winda nggak pernah cerita lagi, atau pasti saya terlalu sibuk sendiri sampe lupa sama masalah dia.